March 2019, Tenerife: an island where the sun chuckles in the sky and adventure hides in every corner. My mission? To explore, embarrass myself slightly less than usual, and maybe, just maybe, get a tan.

First up, Siam Park. Imagine a water slide so steep, you need a pep talk from your swim shorts. That’s the Tower of Power. I went down screaming like a banshee, emerged like a drenched cat, and considered a career in professional water sliding. Spoiler: it’s not a thing.

Then, mini-golf with palms (because why not?). Turns out, I’m less Tiger Woods, more “tiger would-if-he-could.” Watching toddlers putt like pros while I ceremoniously missed every hole was a slice of humble pie served with a side of giggles.

At Plaja del Duque, I perfected the ancient art of sunbathing. It’s harder than it looks, okay? I practiced my most professional dozing-off face and contemplated if mermaids get tan lines. The jury’s still out.

Finally, the Garden of the Stones – where rocks are the stars and I’m just a lost wanderer with a penchant for tripping over them. It’s like Mother Nature’s art exhibit, and let’s just say, I didn’t touch anything – the “Do Not Touch” signs were quite persuasive.

Tenerife? A mix of thrill, spills, and sun-kissed chills. I left with memories, a slightly bruised ego, and a newfound respect for anyone who can make a hole-in-one. Come for the slides, stay for the laughs, and leave with stories that sound like tall tales – because on this island, the unbelievable is just another Tuesday.